I would like to preface this by saying:
I know it's only 2 mornings a week.
I know it's only 2 1/2 hours at a time.
I know many many children begin this whole process long before now.
I know he's super excited and absolutely ready.
And I know he is almost 5 years old.
But, you guys, my first baby is now in preschool.
Yesterday morning, Holden had his first day ever of the whole "school" experience.
He was so excited. And felt so grown up.
And he did so great.
I know he's ready.
But, truth be told, he's way more ready than I think I am.
Yea. I know he's almost 5... but I sort of think that may be making this harder for me. I am a stay-at-home mom. Always have been. And since the day he was born, I have never ever just dropped him off - with anyone other than a family member - kissed him goodbye, and driven away.
And it was much much harder on me than I thought it was going to be.
My kids are NOISY. They're messy. They're needy. And they must be sneaking caffeine somewhere, because they always have so much energy coursing through their little bodies, sometimes I'm not sure what to even do with them.
And sometimes, when the house looks like it blew up and they're all 3 crying/whining... well, sometimes I think if I make it to see them all successfully grown up without having a stroke... then that will be the biggest, most incredible accomplishment of my life.
It's true. It's hard.
But Holden? Holden is my buddy. He's sensitive and thoughtful. Helpful. Smart and kind and capable. He cares about how other people feel... and he tries to make me happy.
And I know he's a little boy... and they all have at least a dash of rotten in them somewhere.. but he's mine. And I know his heart.
And even though he's just a little boy, he's got a good one.
And yesterday morning, for the first time ever, I had to deal with the fact that I am no longer going to be able to always be there - with him - to protect it.
I can't stand beside him to make sure he says "please" and "thank you" every time. And I can't show him how to meet a friend. I can't make sure he always shares or does what's right and kind...
........and I can't make sure no one hurts him.
And it's all kind of hitting me like a wall.
So, I apologize for the heaviness of this post. And, again, I KNOW he's only in preschool... 2 mornings a week. Ha. I know. It's not really all that serious yet.
And I'm going to try to reign it in.
And stop crying and worrying so much.
Because whether or not I am... he really is ready.
And it's time.
Excited :)
Showin' off his Spiderman backpack
And then I made him take pictures with me, too.....
Happy little goof.
My Bud.
I know he loves me ;)
Time to go!
Waiting for the doors to be open
Leadin' the way!!
Going in
He was so excited.
We hung up his bag, found his name tag, and put his name in the basket for his attendance.
And then he was off.
Beeline for the Superhero costume.
:)
♥ ♥ ♥
And he stood there and watched the other kids and families going in and out.
And then he walked over to the kitchen play stuff.
He didn't come back over to us. He didn't need us.
He was ready.
So I went back over, gave him a kiss, pointed out a friend he knew from church... and let go.
